February 2012
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tomorrow will be kisses and sunlight and you serving me tea while the afternoon haze filters in
I’m learning to gather these small trinkets, to keep them close- we’ve both got a lot of pain stuck under our skin but for tomorrow, at least, you’re mine and I’m yours and that will be enough to get me through
(it’s gonna be okay man, really, it is)
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fuck I hate how after being in a relationship with someone for so long, doing ANYTHING by myself seems impossible
I don’t even think I can go for a walk by myself
I don’t know what to do with myself ugh I feel so codependent and miserable
there is honestly no pain greater than the pain of wanting someone who doesn’t want you back
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it’s dangerous to know so much about a person
when somebody tells their secrets, things nobody else knows, and they become yours- you feel like you can’t leave them because they’ve let you in
and now every time I see other people talking to you, I think about how they could never know you like I do and it makes me feel like I owe you something for opening up to me
man man man I’m so lonely and I miss you and really all I want right now like if I could have anything in the world would be for you to magically appear next to me and cuddle me until I doze off to the sound of your heart beating like we always do
